i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
