How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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