remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.