I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.