Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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