Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  1:57 a.m. Where did you go???

  (586): View more from Michigan

  1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?

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  (586): 1:57 a.m. Where did you go??? (586): 1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding? (586): 2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in? http://tfl.nu/vrje
  Replies (33) Good night (1750) Bad night (9062)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  why did u let me go home with him last night?

  (260): View more from Indiana

  u were determined it was a good idea

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  (317): why did u let me go home with him last night? (260): u were determined it was a good idea http://tfl.nu/v9y6
  Replies (18) Good night (796) Bad night (1272)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Found more tequila

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  (573): I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair (573): Found more tequila http://tfl.nu/cg6k
  Replies (9) Good night (4734) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob

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  (705): it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob http://tfl.nu/qlwy
  Replies (47) Good night (4993) Bad night (2010)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?

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  (972): Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama? http://tfl.nu/w817
  Replies (11) Good night (5254) Bad night (1445)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.

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  (678): Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi. http://tfl.nu/4g6k
  Replies (11) Good night (3682) Bad night (1267)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.

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  (404): And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT. http://tfl.nu/u1ny
  Replies (26) Good night (5563) Bad night (859)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.

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  (952): I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler. http://tfl.nu/21hn
  Replies (9) Good night (1964) Bad night (1189)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.

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  (575): I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time. http://tfl.nu/x351
  Replies (6) Good night (2215) Bad night (1033)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels

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  (469): You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels http://tfl.nu/mqc8
  Replies (8) Good night (1942) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.

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  (706): The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina. http://tfl.nu/6jcd
  Replies (10) Good night (2502) Bad night (787)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.

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  (337): Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm. http://tfl.nu/b44z
  Replies (7) Good night (558) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.

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  (714): Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth. http://tfl.nu/x54l
  Replies (3) Good night (786) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  ... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.

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  (+49): ... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany. http://tfl.nu/88tv
  Replies (0) Good night (515) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.

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  (812): I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment. http://tfl.nu/p9vs
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (215)

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