I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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