a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
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We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
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They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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