I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
