i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
