If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
