there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
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oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
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But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on