Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"