I accidentally had phone sex last night
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??