whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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