he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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