Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
