also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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