Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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