I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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