You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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