i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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