It's Friday. Sex?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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