So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
