I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
