So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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