Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
