Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
