just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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