playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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