ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
