Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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