Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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