Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
