I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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