Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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