Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i came on her dog
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
