There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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