I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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