lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
