does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
