Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
