its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize