Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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