you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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