I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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