Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You were trust falling into bushes
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
