I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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