U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
