Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize