he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
