your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
