Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
