my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
