dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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