You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
