I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
