Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
