So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we're making bets on your personal life
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
