i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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