Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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