The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
