what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
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