i would punch a child for taco bell
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
