We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
