Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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