I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
no you cant smoke seaweed
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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