I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Boobs speak an international language.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
