I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
