Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
