sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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